It was a rainy night on Chicago. Tom was sitting at the cafe as usual. He was so predictable.Her eyes flinched as she realized he was checking the waitress butt. The cab was still there, she had just paid him. Any other night she would have rushed into the cafe, worried about ruining her hairdo, but not tonight. She barely felt the raindrops brushing her skin as they fell. Glaring at him, that self centered prick. How did she ever loved him? He hadn't even realized she was standing outside. The waitress went back to the kitchen and he barely dissimulated checking her out. That was it. That was the little push she needed. She started walking. How had she not noticed that before?Now crossing the street.Was he now doing all that or was he always like that? Just a few steps from the door. She reaches into her pocket and feels the cold metal. she pulls it out. Her grasp tight. She'll show him. She pushes the door open, the warm air from inside crashing into her face, the ambiance noise of the cafe. No one seems to notice, not that she cares. She walks towards him, her hand slightly raised. If looks could kill, he'd be dead. "You! you self centered, egocentric, prick!" That caught his attention. "Sarah? what are you doing here?" Tom said focusing his look at her, he sees the gun "You're not serious, aren't you doll?". But she's not listening her rage is now too out of control. "You want more passion, Tom? you need more fire? you want someone wilder?!" "Sarah come.." " well how's THIS for passion!"
Bang. A frantic grin is on Sarah's face as the cafe goes wild and Tom's horror expression falls apart. "Good Bye, Tom, You always finished too soon anyways...".
Friday, September 18, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Mess
Do you feel like granting redemption?
Do you believe one can really regret?
Do you even care if I'm broken,
or your heart only holds disdain?
Your silence is what keeps me in this hell.
Makes me feel like I've done this huge mistake
that doesn't diserve forguiveness.
And I ache, I ache in dispair.
And people tell me that it wasn't that bad.
But how it cannot be?
At least that's how you make me feel.
Like hope has left me, there's no salvation for me.
Yet it makes me wonder.
I did a terrible mistake, I said I was sorry,
I did what I could to make it right,
I felt trapped, later disgusted, but now I wonder
if I am to feel this way still?
and it makes me guilty,
so I keep feeling this way
'cause when someone you care for loathes you
and it's your fault, you know it,
what wright could you have to really be happy again?
Do you believe one can really regret?
Do you even care if I'm broken,
or your heart only holds disdain?
Your silence is what keeps me in this hell.
Makes me feel like I've done this huge mistake
that doesn't diserve forguiveness.
And I ache, I ache in dispair.
And people tell me that it wasn't that bad.
But how it cannot be?
At least that's how you make me feel.
Like hope has left me, there's no salvation for me.
Yet it makes me wonder.
I did a terrible mistake, I said I was sorry,
I did what I could to make it right,
I felt trapped, later disgusted, but now I wonder
if I am to feel this way still?
and it makes me guilty,
so I keep feeling this way
'cause when someone you care for loathes you
and it's your fault, you know it,
what wright could you have to really be happy again?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The many charms of the expletive "fuck"
Because really.... you have to give it credit just for adaptability.....
just think of all the different situations you might say, shout, mutter or scream "fuck!" "fuck you" or all the derivations and well they're a lot...
besides, It's short.
tell you...
I had to translate it and I used a lot of freakin' different words...
and sometimes it loosed power just because it got too long...
and I'm not even mentioning the sex meanings or uses...
because I don't fucking want to. bad subject right now, that's all I'm gonna say.
All of this because yesterday I had to sit my ass for like, 12 hrs (yeah, well, went to the toilet, down for dinner, and dunno what else, but you get the point) translating something like, what 40 pages?
All for a class that I no longer fucking go to.... for complicated reasons, but I still love well, some of my classmates and cared for the rest so... plus the prof. is great, not going to say hot (he kind of is though...but neh, I wanted to hook him up with my sis...) , because it isn't that...
Still I'm not going to get to do the fun part, and I'm not going to graduate and after this and I have to do my own work, which, I don't mind, and I don't expect a fucking shrine or anything (just for them to understand that I do it because I care about them)
What I DO mind is that I got a terrible headache and made my neck tensions worse (which lead me to almost fainting for the first time in almost 3 fucking weeks, which, for me is a really fucking long time) because I was lead to believe my part was the only fucking part missing!
So imagine my "what the fuckness" when after all this, the person that was supposed to need it the most hadn't used it! and then I find out, it wasn't even all translated, and well I don't even understand very well anymore...BECAUSE I'M NO FUCKING LONGER IN THAT CLASS! so I get this pieces of information from different people all scrambled and from time to time and it's just confusing!
fuck...
and who the hell would want to read this shit anyways?
I set my mind to write a funny thing and well... at least someone did use it in the end and I was going to do it anyways so...
back to analyzing...
I guess there's a lot of "motherfuckers" around...
if you take it figuratively....
because every man that has sex with a woman that has kids is a motherfucker...
hell... and to think, if you use that logic, your father is definitely a motherfucker... and you're the son of a motherfucker.... ok too crazy
but in the end, my favourites are a good old "what the fuck?!" and a personal signature of mine... or at least here no one else uses it is " no freakin' fuckin' way".... well the story? I had to say NO WAY very enthusiastically and I use freak and fuck a lot...
so....
darn... most un-fuckin-seen blog on earth!
Cheerios to all you ghost readers!
and many thanks to the reader that stumbles across this! you freakin' fuckin' ROCK!
just think of all the different situations you might say, shout, mutter or scream "fuck!" "fuck you" or all the derivations and well they're a lot...
besides, It's short.
tell you...
I had to translate it and I used a lot of freakin' different words...
and sometimes it loosed power just because it got too long...
and I'm not even mentioning the sex meanings or uses...
because I don't fucking want to. bad subject right now, that's all I'm gonna say.
All of this because yesterday I had to sit my ass for like, 12 hrs (yeah, well, went to the toilet, down for dinner, and dunno what else, but you get the point) translating something like, what 40 pages?
All for a class that I no longer fucking go to.... for complicated reasons, but I still love well, some of my classmates and cared for the rest so... plus the prof. is great, not going to say hot (he kind of is though...but neh, I wanted to hook him up with my sis...) , because it isn't that...
Still I'm not going to get to do the fun part, and I'm not going to graduate and after this and I have to do my own work, which, I don't mind, and I don't expect a fucking shrine or anything (just for them to understand that I do it because I care about them)
What I DO mind is that I got a terrible headache and made my neck tensions worse (which lead me to almost fainting for the first time in almost 3 fucking weeks, which, for me is a really fucking long time) because I was lead to believe my part was the only fucking part missing!
So imagine my "what the fuckness" when after all this, the person that was supposed to need it the most hadn't used it! and then I find out, it wasn't even all translated, and well I don't even understand very well anymore...BECAUSE I'M NO FUCKING LONGER IN THAT CLASS! so I get this pieces of information from different people all scrambled and from time to time and it's just confusing!
fuck...
and who the hell would want to read this shit anyways?
I set my mind to write a funny thing and well... at least someone did use it in the end and I was going to do it anyways so...
back to analyzing...
I guess there's a lot of "motherfuckers" around...
if you take it figuratively....
because every man that has sex with a woman that has kids is a motherfucker...
hell... and to think, if you use that logic, your father is definitely a motherfucker... and you're the son of a motherfucker.... ok too crazy
but in the end, my favourites are a good old "what the fuck?!" and a personal signature of mine... or at least here no one else uses it is " no freakin' fuckin' way".... well the story? I had to say NO WAY very enthusiastically and I use freak and fuck a lot...
so....
darn... most un-fuckin-seen blog on earth!
Cheerios to all you ghost readers!
and many thanks to the reader that stumbles across this! you freakin' fuckin' ROCK!
Monday, August 31, 2009
the acting role I hate the most...
...is life itself.
And I don't even believe I'm acting for others, because, that's not it, it was only a good phrase.... I meant that you end up puting masks, different versions of yourself. A picture of you, still, determinate, not quite...you. Or if you mind another example, a veil, so it depends with whom you are, how much you lower it, and how much you show of yourself.
Because this mask or veil is unconsiously thrown or forced upon by those who care about you, or worse by those who doesn't care about you trhough those who do. Because, if someone doesn't really understand you, then you're preety fuckin' lucky if he accepts or "understands to let you be".
But because you care about them you end up... not lying but tring to make them happy, specially when they're stubborn....
"yeah, that 2hr play was great...It's not my stile but it has really some work on it" - My butt went numb and it was one of those `I'll do something kind of modern and for that you have to think it's good´ but it was nonsensical...
"I don't believe that"... is going to be the solution of the problem, in fact why do they keep bringing it up???
"I'm going to start waking up early" ... because I'm fucking tired of you fighting and naggin' me for waiking up late, ok sometimes I screw up, but you don't let me make it up or fix it! Fuck... what's so terribly good about mornings anyways huh? I've woken up at 6:30 for 6 years and there's nothig peachy about it! and it just goes on and on about sacrifice they do that no one ask them, but hell you need to repay! yeah fucking right... nothing's ever good enough, if I get things done, does it matter if it's evening or morning?? Others may tell you "you're right" just so you shut up and think otherwhise , but as I care for you I try to make you see my point of view, not to change yours, but for you to understand me... I'm starting to feel it's a waste of time...
Fuck!
yeah, I have a trucker's mouth when I'm angry, or at least so I'm told...
Besides, you know one of those weeks, when you do EVERYTHING WRONG
and I men EVERYTHING....
Like you can't control screwing things up, you do it unintentionally, and you realize 5 seconds afterwards.... and of course, it's late... the shit is done....
Fuck... Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.....Damn.....
The worst is when you screw up so badly that it actually makes you sick.... because, hell you feel like shit... ussually I accept it and will low profile, tail between legs, take the fault.
But what when you screw things up, you apologize, you fix what you can, and, the other party is still mad? and, you know, they're right, but, you can't do more about it... 'xcept wait? YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP.
Like you don't deserve to do the things you like, or be really happy, cause there's someone you care you let down, you have betrayed in some way, and hasn't forgave you, so how can you go around normally? It's like Purgatory, figures....you pick up where you were, but you feel hollow and ashamed.... oh, and almost don't eat for 2 days because you're digusted with yourself.
And even if your life was such on great tracks before, and you follow them... you just want to... Fly away, and really start over, new beggining, no middle term....
And I don't even believe I'm acting for others, because, that's not it, it was only a good phrase.... I meant that you end up puting masks, different versions of yourself. A picture of you, still, determinate, not quite...you. Or if you mind another example, a veil, so it depends with whom you are, how much you lower it, and how much you show of yourself.
Because this mask or veil is unconsiously thrown or forced upon by those who care about you, or worse by those who doesn't care about you trhough those who do. Because, if someone doesn't really understand you, then you're preety fuckin' lucky if he accepts or "understands to let you be".
But because you care about them you end up... not lying but tring to make them happy, specially when they're stubborn....
"yeah, that 2hr play was great...It's not my stile but it has really some work on it" - My butt went numb and it was one of those `I'll do something kind of modern and for that you have to think it's good´ but it was nonsensical...
"I don't believe that"... is going to be the solution of the problem, in fact why do they keep bringing it up???
"I'm going to start waking up early" ... because I'm fucking tired of you fighting and naggin' me for waiking up late, ok sometimes I screw up, but you don't let me make it up or fix it! Fuck... what's so terribly good about mornings anyways huh? I've woken up at 6:30 for 6 years and there's nothig peachy about it! and it just goes on and on about sacrifice they do that no one ask them, but hell you need to repay! yeah fucking right... nothing's ever good enough, if I get things done, does it matter if it's evening or morning?? Others may tell you "you're right" just so you shut up and think otherwhise , but as I care for you I try to make you see my point of view, not to change yours, but for you to understand me... I'm starting to feel it's a waste of time...
Fuck!
yeah, I have a trucker's mouth when I'm angry, or at least so I'm told...
Besides, you know one of those weeks, when you do EVERYTHING WRONG
and I men EVERYTHING....
Like you can't control screwing things up, you do it unintentionally, and you realize 5 seconds afterwards.... and of course, it's late... the shit is done....
Fuck... Fuck, fuck fuck fuck.....Damn.....
The worst is when you screw up so badly that it actually makes you sick.... because, hell you feel like shit... ussually I accept it and will low profile, tail between legs, take the fault.
But what when you screw things up, you apologize, you fix what you can, and, the other party is still mad? and, you know, they're right, but, you can't do more about it... 'xcept wait? YOU FEEL LIKE CRAP.
Like you don't deserve to do the things you like, or be really happy, cause there's someone you care you let down, you have betrayed in some way, and hasn't forgave you, so how can you go around normally? It's like Purgatory, figures....you pick up where you were, but you feel hollow and ashamed.... oh, and almost don't eat for 2 days because you're digusted with yourself.
And even if your life was such on great tracks before, and you follow them... you just want to... Fly away, and really start over, new beggining, no middle term....
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